Mailon is the school coach . He likes to wander around the school teaching its students self-defence.


Mailon has a hazy purple face, with tufts of light brown hair and shining red eyes. He wears a grubby white shirt with text reading “IM GOOD AT SPOROT”.He is also dressed in red bootleg puma jogging bottoms and grey running shoes.He always holds a piece of fruit in his hand, which will change every time player sees him.


Every two minutes, the player will hear a thumping noise indicating that Mailon would like to begin training. Then, a section of the school will turn completely dark. If the player is in this section, Mailon will start throwing pieces of fresh fruit at the player, which do different things.

Apple-takes away half of the player’s sanity

Pear-causes minor blood loss

Orange-Stuns the player for 15 seconds

Plum-gives the player 5 random items

Banana - gives the player sanity, stamina and blood

Mango- gives the player 500% stamina

Passion fruit- gives the player nausea for 30 seconds

Durian-teleports the player to Natural History or Citizenship Level.

If the player dodges more than 20 pieces of fruit, he’ll give them a notebook to solve.





Monty Python- Self Defense Against Fresh Fruit(Mailon’s inspiration)

  • He is loosely based on a monty python sketch.